Training Our Children In Their Way

Since I have a 10 month old in the house now, I decided to start reading some child-rearing books to help my lack of experience and knowledge about the subject.  In Scripture, Deuteronomy 6, Ephesians 6, and the book of Proverbs are probably the best places to read on the specific subject of parenting.  As I was reading this great book, which I hope to review at sometime, called Withhold Not Correction by Bruce A. Ray (thankfully my cover is an older version, more manly, than the one you will see if you go to the link), it made an interesting point that I want you to know about concerning Proverbs 22:6.  

NASB: "Train up a child in the way he should go, Even when he is old he will not depart from it."

ESV: "Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it."

KJV: "Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it."

Seems pretty straightforward about the translation of this verse in the English versions.  But, as Bruce Ray points out, there are different interpretations of this verse.  The first interpretation takes this verse as a promise, and yet is almost always abused by those seeking false comfort.  Some think it means that if the child is trained properly (i.e. biblically) while he is still a child, he will not depart from that training when he gets older.  Generally, that is true.  The morals of the child will carry on through to the adult years, whether they are regenerate or not.  However, this is not the teaching of this verse.

The second interpretation is thought to say that if a child is trained properly in his youth, but then goes astray, he will return to that earlier teaching when older.  Parents, do not have a false sense of comfort, by taking this interpretation.  How many times have you seen children, maybe even children you knew when you were younger.  And they were brought up in the ways of Scripture, professed faith in Christ, and then when they left the home they forsook the Lord.  And yet if you hold to this interpretation, you have no worries, you believe they will return.  Yet it is Scripture itself which warns in Hebrews 6, "For in the case of those who have once been enlightened and have tasted of the heavenly gift and have been made partakers of the Holy Spirit, and have tasted the good word of God and the powers of the age to come, and then have fallen away, it is impossible to renew them again to repentance, since they again crucify to themselves the Son of God and put Him to open shame."

But if you hold to this interpretation, you are not in fervent prayer for your child, you aren't anxious about their salvation, you are comfortable with their rebellion.  In the parents' view, God is obligated to bring him back.  That doesn't really sound like a good parent to me.  It also doesn't sound like the God of Scripture, is God comfortable with their rebellion?  Is He not a righteous judge?  

In the third place, this verse is not so much a promise as it is a warning, which is not uncommon in Proverbs.  You see the English translations are wrong here.  Sorry to say it, but to eliminate confusion in this verse we must understand a proper translation.  So here I am.  One who has been doing Hebrew for about four years, saying that Hebrew scholars and Biblical scholars are wrong in their translation.  But I agree with Ray on this one.  I searched the Hebrew myself and it seems pretty clear.  Literally, instead of "Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it", it says, "Train up a child in his way and when he is old he will not depart from it."

Thus, if you train up a child in his way and after his own manner in his own way.  Parents, allow your child to have self-expression, allow a child to pick and choose what he will and will not do, and as a habit that child will not change when he goes from youth to adulthood.  If he doesn't learn discipline as a child, he won't as an adult.  If he is not taught to submit to authorities as a child, he certainly won't when he is an adult (especially to the Lord, the ultimate authority).  This is a negative promise and/or a warning to you the parent.  If you let your child direct the home, if you let your child run over you and withhold the rod, if you fail to discipline, if you fail to diligently instruct them in the little things as well as the big, if you let your children decide what they will and will not eat, what they will and will not wear, what they will and will not do, then look into the future and see those same children grown in body and yet still unbridled, undisciplined, and unable to worship the Lord through submission unto Him.  This is a stern warning.