The Unloveliest Bride Made Lovely by the Love of the Greatest Lover

A dear friend wanted something to include in a congratulatory greeting to a loved one who is getting married. The loved one is in bondage to a legalistic cult, so I suggested that I might write an explanation of the last half of Ephesians 5 that would not only be helpful for the marriage, but might present Christ's love, life, death, and life again--all for the ungodly. Thinking that it might be of help to more than just this one couple, I include the note below.

If we want to be wise (v15) in evil days (v16), not foolish (v17) or out of control (v18a) but rather controlled by the Spirit (v18b), then that which most moves us should be God’s words (v19-20), to which we all submit when addressed by one another with them (v21).

This submission takes on a special form toward husbands (v21-33), parents (6:1-4), and bosses (6:5-9). This note is primarily concerned with what it looks like in marriage.

5:22 tells us the style of the submission and the object of the submission. Wives’ submission to their husbands is to be like their submission to Christ, because it is to be part of their submission to Christ.

This is why when a husband doesn’t turn out to be all you had hoped (1Pet 3:1), you can still submit (1Pet 3:1-4a), because your audience is God Himself (1Pet 3:4b). God never fails to be all you had hoped and more.

Marriage imitates the relationship between Jesus and the church (v23), and the wife must submit to Him who has taken her for His body and saved her.

Just like we don’t submit to Christ only in some areas, and refuse to obey Him in others, so also a husband’s authority over his wife applies to every part of life (v24). Do not withhold yourself from him and so corrupt the image that marriage is intended to be.

But, those who know the Lord Jesus much prefer to think upon Him, and what He is like, which makes studying the husband’s part (v25-33) much more pleasant to us.

Just as the good wife submits in all areas to her husband, the good husband expends his entire self for his wife (v25). He does not do this grudgingly or out of mere duty, but out of love. The command is not “give yourselves up for your wives,” although that is surely a part of it. It is “love your wives, as Christ loved the church”—and for that reason and in that way, give yourself up for her.

What is glorious is when we begin to think about for what kind of wife Christ did this. While we were still sinners, Christ died for us (Rom 5:8). While we were enemies, we were reconciled to God by the death of His Son (Rom 5:10).

In other words, although the husband of a good wife may expend himself for his wife as v25 commands, it is the husband of the treacherous and unworthy wife who has the best opportunity to fulfill the analogy. This banishes once and for all, all excuses of whether one’s wife “qualifies” for the kind of self-sacrifice that is commanded here.

But this is not a one-day, one-time self-giving merely to deliver His bride from peril. His aim is not merely at saving us from one peril; but rather, that He would make us completely perfect. He gives Himself up (v25) to claim the privilege of sanctifying us (v26a), using His Word constantly to bathe us until we are not just unspotted and wrinkle-free and unblemished (27b) but indeed splendid (27a).

Again, it is not merely the action (nourish) that is in view but the affection (cherish) that drives it (v29a). This is not only a to-do list for the husband, but a how-and-why-to-do list. Husbands shall love their wives (v28).

Why? What is at stake here? v32 lets us in on a startling mystery: Genesis 2:24 (Eph 5:31) is primarily about Christ and the church (cf. 29b-30). This is what is at stake in every husband’s conduct. This is what should be on display in every marriage.

Jesus gave Himself for an unlovely bride, not because she had potential, but because He intended to make Her lovely Himself. A godly husband is an illustration of the glorious gospel. And, having such an eternal husband as Christ enables every Christian wife to submit to her husband, whether he is worthy of it or not.

Loving the Unrepentant

Christians often believe that God has called them to forgive everyone who sins against them, regardless of their repentance. In fact, God never commands us to do such a thing, and God Himself is our example in this regard. God only forgives those with a repentant heart. How then can we love our enemies? How can we love the unrepentant? Let’s begin with the example of our Savior, the Lord Jesus Christ.

In Luke 23:34, Christ prayed for His killers, “Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do.” There are several possible ways to interpret these words. Perhaps Jesus was merely asking the Father to withhold His hand from destroying them immediately, since their crucifixion of the Lord of Glory was done in ignorance (1 Cor. 2:7-8). Perhaps Jesus is speaking of actual forgiveness of their sins. If so, then perhaps Jesus is praying generally and conditionally for all, similar to His request in the Garden of Gethsemane that “if it be possible, let this cup pass from me; nevertheless, not as I will, but as you will.” He may be saying, in effect “forgive them, but not My will but Yours be done.” Or perhaps Jesus knows that some of those participating in His execution are elect: those for whom He is currently dying. In this case, He would be praying on the basis of the atonement that He is accomplishing at that very moment, that those elect would not be damned. While commentators may disagree on the best option, we can say that any of these three options are plausible, biblical interpretations.

Matthew Henry says concerning Luke 23:34, “This is written also for example to us. First, we must in prayer call God Father, and come to him with reverence and confidence, as children to a father. Secondly, the great thing we must beg of God, both for ourselves and others, is the forgiveness of sins. Thirdly, we must pray for our enemies, and those that hate and persecute us, must extenuate their offences, and not aggravate them as we must our own (They know not what they do; peradventure it was an oversight); and we must be earnest with God in prayer for the forgiveness of their sins, their sins against us. This is Christ's example to his own rule (“Love your enemies,” Mat. 5:44-45); and it very much strengthens the rule, for, if Christ loved and prayed for such enemies, what enemies can we have that we are not obliged to love and pray for?”

When Stephen is put to death in Acts 7 he prays something very similar to Jesus in Luke 23:34, “He cried out with a loud voice, ‘Lord, do not hold this sin against them.’” As Jesus did, so Stephen prayed for his enemies, even at the point of them putting Stephen to death. This too sets forth a great example that we ought to pray for those who persecute us. His prayer preaches. It shows those who heard the prayer their sin and need of divine mercy and grace. His prayer shows charity to his killers; that he desired not their destruction but their salvation. We could think of Paul in Romans 9:3 as well, “For I could wish that I myself were accursed and cut off from Christ for the sake of my brothers, my kinsmen according to the flesh.” Paul’s love for his Israelite brothers is bold and self-denying. His longing desire is for their salvation, even if it would mean being accursed, himself, if possible. Likewise Paul says in Romans 10:1, “Brothers, my heart’s desire and prayer to God for them is that they may be saved.”

Luke 17:3-4 says, “Pay attention to yourselves! If your brother sins, rebuke him, and if he repents, forgive him, and if he sins against you seven times in the day, and turns to you seven times, saying, ‘I repent,’ you must forgive him.” There is the simple statement that the Christian forgives those who repent, just as the Lord forgives those who turn from their sin and turn to Him. Does that mean that a Christian can hold a grudge, hate the offender, since they haven’t explicitly repented of their sin? Does God allow Christians to hate unrepentant sinners? The above examples should be sufficient to show that the answer to both of those questions is an emphatic “No!” Luke 6:35 states (just to be clear), “But love your enemies, and do good, and lend, expecting nothing in return, and your reward will be great, and you will be sons of the Most High, for he is kind to the ungrateful and the evil.” God is kind to those who are ungrateful and evil. As God’s own people, Christians are a prime example of that. Christian, you were once separated from God, dead in your trespasses and sins. You were evil. And as God showed mercy to you so you ought to show mercy to others (Matthew 18:21-35). We ought to love the unrepentant. Yet, loving the unrepentant sinner is not the same as forgiving him.

What about the one who professes faith in Christ but is unrepentant? It looks much like Galatians 6:1-2, “Brothers, if anyone is caught in any transgression, you who are spiritual should restore him in a spirit of gentleness. Keep watch on yourself, lest you too be tempted. Bear one another's burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ.” More specifically, it looks like Matthew 18:15-18, “If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained your brother. But if he does not listen, take one or two others along with you, that every charge may be established by the evidence of two or three witnesses. If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church. And if he refuses to listen even to the church, let him be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector. Truly, I say to you, whatever you bind on earth shall be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth shall be loosed in heaven.” How do you show this love? First, you seek to restore them by the Word of God, admonishing them with the Scriptures (2 Timothy 3:16-17). If they remain unrepentant through the process of Matthew 18:15ff, then eventually the elders will excommunicate them. Only then should they be treated “as a Gentile and a tax collector”.

As we have seen in our examples of Jesus, Stephen, and Paul, they loved the unrepentant through prayer to the Father: that He would not destroy them, but that they might be saved, if it be the Lord’s will. This is a prayer that those elect would not be damned. They loved the unrepentant by begging God through prayer for Him to forgive the unrepentant of their sins. Thus, they prayed that their enemies who persecuted them would see their sin and repent. Just as Christ loved and prayed for His enemies in this way, so we too must love and pray for our enemies. As Stephen prayed with loud cries before his enemies we too must pray before our enemies pleading that they would see their sin, their need of divine mercy and grace, and for God to save them.

PCA 38th General Assembly 2010: Day 2 (Boring day...for me)

Today, the two big items came before committees (deaconesses and strategic plan).  For deaconesses, the Overtures Committee went with Overture 7 from Evangel Presbytery.  After they amended it, it seemed like a good compromise for all.  There was going to be a minority report, but low numbers brought that to a halt.  So no minority report there.  The language that was changed seems to go in favor of defining what is already in BCO 9-7 and nothing major is being recommended to the Assembly.  As for the Strategic Plan (SP), the Administration Committee of Commissioners  (CoC) met again to discuss the SP at 1pm today.  They received amendments to the SP from the Administration Committee who met this morning.  However, by 5:30pm the only recommendation that had been voted on was the NW Georgia Presbytery Overture, which was passed 28-2.  However, it was passed amended not as an 'alternative' to the SP but as good information/wisdom.  The Administration CoC will meet tomorrow (Wednesday) at 8am to, hopefully, conclude its work before the main Assembly meetings begin at 10:30am.

So this was pretty boring for me today.  I had nothing really to do, no work.  Again, the conversation seems to be great and worthwhile.  I am happy about what the Overtures Committee did, I think we could go further but I'm happy.  We need to keep praying for the Admin. CoC in their work.  They plan on going through each recommendation of the SP line by line, which could take awhile to work out.  Usually, this CoC doesn't get this much work so may God give them wisdom to handle what is before them with diligence according to the Word.  

Harry Reeder was elected Moderator tonight by acclamation, being the only one nominated.  I believe he will serve as a great Moderator, especially with the amount of business we have this year.  Of what I have seen of him, he is to the point, not fooling around, which in my eyes serves as a good Moderator.  Hopefully, he will be fair to the rules and if so, I believe he will do a great job, moving things along smoothly and at a good pace.  

So just as the title, this post was boring.  If you want to read a little more on the GA so far, you can read Ken's post about it so far here (He served on Overtures Committee).  Wes White served on the Administration Committee of Commissioners and you can read what he says here.  Here is a little feast for your souls from James Smith:

"Christ, who loved us!" Romans 8:37

No condition can possibly be more dreary--than to feel that no one loves or cares for us!

There is something peculiarly sweet and pleasant--in being the object of another's love. Even the love of a poor child is sweet. But to be loved by one who is most wealthy, most exalted in station, and most honorable in character--must be peculiarly delightful!

How, then, should we rejoice; how happy should we be--who are loved by the Lord Jesus! Especially when we consider:
on the one hand:
  how despicable,
  how poor,
  how worthless, and
  how unlovely WE are!
And, on the other hand:
  how glorious,
  how wealthy,
  how worthy,
  how lovely JESUS is!

To be loved by Jesus--is to be preferred before the possession of a world!

Think of . . .
  the glory of His person,
  the vastness of His possessions,
  the number of His angelic attendants,
  the unlimited sovereignty which He exercises,
  and the excellent character He bears!

Also bear in mind--that He knew what loving us would cost Him--how He would be treated by us and by others--for our sakes!

Yet He fixed His love upon US!

He loved US--just because He would!

He passed by others more dignified in nature, more exalted in station--but He chose US!

He did not, could not, NEED us--for He was infinitely happy and glorious without us!

Yet He loved us!

He still loves us!

Amen!

How to Get Along With "TR's"

Let me say first that I don’t really like the term. The connotations of the term imply someone who doesn’t care about unity and love in the church. It also implies an arrogance that they are the only ones with any truth, and/or that they are the only people who can legitimately claim the term “Reformed” at all. All of those are untrue of confessional Presbyterians I know. I cannot judge whether they are true of me or not, though I can say that I really do not enjoy conflict, contrary to what many people might think.

However, what is often shouted at TR’s is that they are unloving, uncaring about church unity, and fanatical about doctrine, and denigrate love. What is rather amazing to me, however, is that many people do not care to find out about what makes a TR click. They do not feel that they need to take any steps to get along with TR’s. If any unity is going to happen, it can only happen if the TR abandons his convictions, they think. But what is really irritating is that the people who are yelling and screaming at the top of their lungs for love and unity aren’t showing very much love and unity in screaming and yelling for love and unity. I’ve lost count of the times this has happened to me. Raise a question of BCO procedure, and get shouted at for being unloving. It gets old. Fast.

What I would like to do is to help people understand what makes a TR click so that people can understand us. In this way, we might be able to get along better, even when we disagree.

Principle 1. Never, ever, ever ask a TR either explicitly or implicitly to abandon his principles. This is probably the single most unloving thing that anyone can do to a TR. The principles he holds are what he believes the Bible to be saying. Furthermore, asking a TR to do that will only make him that much more royally upset. Any attempt to force a TR to abandon his principles will make the TR think that the other person has abandoned truth.

Principle 2. Stop accusing the TR of being unloving. People do not know what is in someone else’s heart. It might be fair to say that a particular action seems unloving to you. That can be debated, certainly. But blanket statements about someone else’s motivations are never very helpful, and they are almost always inaccurate.

Principle 3. Focus attention on the issue when you disagree with a TR. Nothing irritates a TR more than having personalities dragged into it. The TR doesn’t want to dwell on these things. He is thinking about whether something is logical or not, whether something is biblical or not (and this is not to say that non-TR folk are not concerned about this). If I have any more thoughts about this, I’ll add to this and edit it.